Parenting Predominantly Inattentive Children vs. Parenting Combined Type Children

Parenting Predominantly Inattentive Children vs. Parenting Combined Type Children

So this is the fourth in a series of posts that I am writing about the differences between Combined type ADHD (ADHD-C) and Predominantly Inattentive ADD (ADHD-I). In the first post I wrote about the best course of action for folks with ADHD-PI who do not respond well to stimulants. In the second and third posts I wrote about classroom interventions for inattentive ADD and in this and the next post I am going to address ADHD-I parenting advice.

As many of you know, I have two children with ADHD. One is inattentive and one is combined type ADHD. They are as different as night and day, chalk and cheese and hot and cold, . The combined type child is a fairly typical combined type ADHD kid. He is hyperactive, impulsive, extroverted, very social, lives in the moment, is not a worrier but is also not very reflective and can be pretty oppositional, combative and difficult.

The inattentive ADD son is also pretty typical of the inattentive type of ADHD. He is socially awkward, can be hypoactive, tends to be wary and is a worrier.  On the other hand, this son is highly reflective, thinks a lot about consequences and is never oppositional or combative.

At first blush it would seem that the combined type child would be really difficult to parent and the inattentive child easier. Parenting is never easy and I would say that they are both easy and difficult to discipline but they are easy and difficult for completely different reasons.

As I am sure you have guessed the combined type child will argue with us.  If we say fast, he will say slow, if we say yes, he will say no and if you say walk, he is sure to run. Kind of a pain, right? Sure, but the inattentive son sometimes does not move at all no matter what you say. They both get themselves into trouble though. One for being too aggressive and hyperactive and the other for being too passive and inactive.

What make the disciplining of the combined type sometimes easier than the disciplining of the inattentive child is that the combined type kid has lots of stuff that he loves to do. Even more importantly he really loves to do these things.  Because he loves these activities so much, we have an arsenal of punishments that we can propose to him. These include:

· No sleepovers
· No Laser tag
· No sports
· No paintball
· No movies
· No screen time

The threat of removing these activites, because he loves them, motivate him to behave.

The inattentive son hates movies (too loud), laser tag (too fast), paintball (too violent), sleepovers (ruins his sleep habits) and sports (too uncoordinated). He does like screen time but as you can see, our punishment choices are kind of limited when it comes to motivating and disciplining our inattentive son. To make matters even worse, he is not very passionate about much so even removing screen time does not always have the impact that you would hope. He is pretty happy to sit in his room, lost in his "own private Idaho", doing nothing at all.

Given that inattentive kids can be perfectly happy in “Time Out", what is a parent to do when disciplining and motivation are in order? My next posts will give you suggestions for addressing these problems.

Part Two: Inattentive ADD Classroom Strategy Differences

Part Two: Inattentive ADD Classroom Strategy Differences

This is the third in a series of post that I am writing about the differences between Inattentive ADD and the more common type of ADHD, combined type ADHD (ADHD-C). In the last post I started to outline how classroom interventions for Inattentive ADD are different. This is part two of that post.

You remember that in the last post we described how positive statements by a teacher that were specific to the child with Inattentive ADD made a huge difference in "on task" time in the classroom.  In the last post I promised that I would explain why psychologists believe this matters.  There are several reasons why a teacher's positive attention might make all the difference in the success of an inattentive student.  The two most likely reasons that this type of teacher interaction helps is that we all perform better and more consistently when we:

1. Perceive ourselves to be part of a group.

People with Inattentive ADD in a classroom can socially distant themselves from the teacher and the rest of the students. Kids with Inattentive ADD can be introverted as well and this type of simple positive teacher attention can bring kids with ADHD-I into the social group. Studies have shown that a phenomena known as social facilitation or the act of being part of a group increases our arousal levels, improves the accuracy of tasks performed and also improves the speed of task performed.

2. Think we are being watched.

Psychologists have demonstrated that being observed changes our behavior for the better. Thomas Jefferson knew this. He is quoted as having said, “Whenever you do a thing, act as if all the world were watching.” An interesting study found that even a big poster with pair of eyes improved peoples behavior. Being watched is known to put us all on our best behavior and this likely applies to inattentive kids in a classroom as well.

The famous ADHD psychologist Russell Barkley has stated that emotional control problems, impulsive acts and problems with an executive function known as "inner dialogue" that allows people to consider the consequence of their own actions is NOT a part of Inattentive ADD. People with ADHD-I often have a very rich inner dialogue and sometimes over think the consequence of their own actions. Teachers need to understand these differences and use the positive benefits of having a rich capacity for inner dialogue, a positive response to belonging to a group, and a positive response to the perception of being watched in their classrooms.

I would love to hear what you think.  Write to me or leave a comment!!